
| Location | Dumfries |
| Age | 1 month |
| Date of Birth | 9/2007 |
| Date of Death | 10/2007 |
| Visitors | 14,421 since 04/11/2007 |
| Creator |
this site is for a special little lady who sadly lost the fight, 30th 0ct at 6.15pm she was a brave
little angel who is greatly loved my many but none more so than by her mum amanda and brothers ali
and theo she had a very short time on this earth but has made a great impact on us all i\'ve
created this site for her mum and family to come on and tell her story when they are ready to do so
but wanted them to all to know i am thinking of them and little faith will eternally travel with
them all
Thanks Ronnie!!
Thank you all for visiting Faith\'s memorial page which Ronnie kindly set up for her to be
remembered.
Faith maybe had a short life but it was certainly eventful and had more ups and downs than a
rollercoaster!! Now ... when she was born on September 3rd she came 4 weeks early, I was due in for
to get induced on 17th which would have made her two weeks early.
My waters broke at 4:30am and I rushed to the hospital as i knew that she had to be born in Queen
Mothers Maternity Hospital in Glasgow because of her Cognital Diaphragmatic Hernia. However ...
Faith continuing to be the awkward lil madam she had been through the whole pregnancy decided that
she\'d be born in Dumfries and by C-section.
She arrived at 6:16am and was taken away straight away by the consultant. I expected this, her
being taken away, I did think i\'d get to at least see her before she went tho ... I
didn\'t even get a glimpse. (The birth was mad ... the male nurse and i sat and talked about
people with Autism and the different levels of the spectrum. When he said \"6:16\" I had
no idea what he was on about!!)
Hours passed ... Erica was the first person to come and visit me, I was desperate to see her, they
wouldn\'t let me move until i had a little bit of feeling back in my legs. I worked at it and
worked at it until i was able to wriggle in my bed ... apparently i was quick at coming round! (I
wonder why?!)
At 11:15am I had been allowed to go through to see Faith. She was so perfect, I just wanted to pick
her up and cuddle her. She had the cutest ever pink hat on. Tammy was first to go in with me, then
my mother came in, then Erica. After taking loads of pictures, asking loads of questions (that i
can\'t even remember what they were) we left her so that she could start her journey up the
road to Glasgow with the staff from the Queen Mum\'s.
I got taken onto the ward in Dumfries. All i could think about was getting to Faith, I cried and
cried when i couldn\'t get there. When it was lunch time i sat forwards to eat up (by god did
the section wound hurt) but i still managed to sit forwards. I finished eating and went to sit back
in the bed and the nurse came back to the room i moved my covers forwards to sit back more
comfortably and suddenly i rushed the bed with blood from my section wound.
The nurse thought that it was just some blood that had been sitting behind the wound that needed to
come forwards. It was left at that and I had several visitors in the afternoon. Laura Clash came
in, Aunt Jane, Aunt June and Rebecca. My shoulders started getting so painful, the nurses got me
heat packs that seemed to sort out the problem for the time being.
I got more and more mobile, I was adamant that i was getting to Glasgow, all i cared about was
getting to my baby before she had to go for her operation. Still armed with my cathater (what a
horrible thing that was!), I had a really bad dose of the runs due to some of the painkillers
they\'d fed me. The more i moved the more painful i had become in the shoulders and under the
ribs.
All i could think about was the chances of me getting to Faith slippin further and further away as i
pressed the buzzer for the nurses to come and help me when i couldn\'t move in my bed.
Emotional pain ... apparently that was all that i was suffering ... silly cow ... a mother knows the
difference between emotional pain and physical pain!!
Emotional pain ... by gawd was i fed up of that midwife by the time she finally got the doctor to
come and see me at the end of her shift!! He sent me for scans and x-rays to find out if there was
a problem (if!). However to cut a long story short Tuesday evening about 8pm i was taken into the
operating theatre and this put me back getting to Glasgow, on the Friday morning i was told that
i\'d be going on Monday after the weekend.
Friday mornin i received a phone call from Mr Carl Davis from Yorkhill hospital asking for
permission to carry out the operation on Faith to fix her diaphragmatic hernia. I was gutted ... I
couldn\'t get to Glasgow ... no one was going to be there for her and I couldn\'t get
there!
I forced myself to get out of my bed, into the shower, prove to the doctors that i was fit enough to
travel. I wanted there the next day ... Saturday morning i just wanted to be there with her.
Instead the Doctor was that impressed that I\'d got up and sorted out that he let me go up the
road on the friday afternoon.
I was packed and ready to go half an hour before the guy came to take me! I got up to the Queen
Mums and booked in ... the nurses were very adamant that i needed someone to go over with me to the
new ward that she was on. 2B in Yorkhill. I didn\'t care if i was on my own or with Jesus ...
I just wanted to be with the little soul.
I went up to the ward with one of the nurses from the Queen Mum\'s. When i got into the room
that Faith was in I couldn\'t help myself but break down. That little girl was laid out on her
bed looking as if she was taking fits (it was just the type of ventilator she was on tho!).
\"What the hell have i done to her\" I asked Carl Davis. \"Given her the chance to
live\" he replied.
He went on to explain about the ECMO machine and how Faith had to go onto it to give her lungs a
chance to develop. They wanted to put a fluid into her lungs to try and get a bit bigger as they
were very condensed by her stomach, liver and bowel in her chest cavity.
I went back over to the Queen Mum\'s and waited on them putting her onto ECMO and the doctors
coming over to talk to me about everything since i had such a lot to take in. Tammy, Erica and Aunt
June came up to make sure i was alright following a call from the hospital asking them to come and
stay the night.
Erica stayed the weekend with me and supported me with everything. I stayed in the queen mothers
for 5 days then finally got discharged. I went to stay in Ronald McDonalds, the parent accomodation
across the way.
Daily i\'d spend hours with Faith, her ups and downs with her health was just like that
rollercoaster i mentioned earlier. The fluids they were using to try and expand her lungs
wasn\'t working so they decided to try her off the ECMO machine and going onto Kidney Dialysis.
She spent three days off Kidney Dialysis and ended up back on the ECMO. Everytime they tried to
take fluid off her using it she let her blood pressure drop. I had to rush back from Dumfries to be
with her as she was unstable again. Faith had been put back onto ECMO and this time it was for her
heart and lungs instead of just lungs.
All the time she was on ECMO she maybe looked puffy but she always looked a picture of health.
It\'s so horrible not to see what\'s actually wrong and them looking a picture of health.
I got told she had less than a 50% chance to come off ECMO but she turned that around n was able to
come off ... fair enough she went back onto it but she still got off it!!
The 2nd time that she was back on it they were talkin about her future plans ... they wanted to move
her into another ward ... PICU where they could give her 24 hour kidney dialysis instead of 12 hour
kidney dialysis. This was scary but such a vital thing to happen.
She moved through there and within a few days they wanted to try taking her off her kidney dialysis
again, they tried twice on the Friday morning and she almost slipped away both times, however they
topped up her fluids and gave her a dose of steroids and she was perfect again. 3rd time lucky!!
Kidney dialysis was working fine ... she was running at negative levels for the first time in her
life (which amazed everyone as she always liked to be a little positive!). Then she caught an
infection ... blood cultures showed that she was sensitive to a couple of the medicines that
they\'d been giving her. They started giving her antibiotics and fight against the infection.
In the mean time she was struggling to maintain a temprature, her bowels hadn't moved in
several days and on Tuesday 30th October she took a cardiac arrest in the morning. The doctors
asked me to attend a meeting in the afternoon to discuss the plans for Faith and they asked me if
they could switch her machines off as it was getting harder and harder for her to fight and
they\'d no way of trying to get her to recover from everything that she had faced. It was the
hardest ever agreement that i\'ve ever had to make but it was definately the right decision to
make.
Tammy and my mother came up the road and was there with Rab and I when Faith passed over. My first
longed for cuddle was my last one, but at least she got to pass in my arms and feel my warmth and
love toward her. Tammy sang to her, I think that was to stop her crying but she did so well and it
stopped all of us from crying. Faith fought on for a very surprising length of time after all the
machines were switched off.
She did herself proud!
After she passed I got to bath her and get her dressed into her clothes, she looked so beautiful, so
peaceful, there was no cables or wires coming from her little body. She ended up with glitter on
her ... i\'ve no idea where it came from but i certainly feel it\'s just like angel dust.
My little angel was taken away at 6:15pm I left her at 9:45pm. I spent my time with her giving her
the cuddles she deserved so that she knew that she was loved.
I\'ve spent many hours with her since she passed and tomorrow is the last time that i\'ll
be able to see her, it\'s going to be a very emotional time. She will be dressed in the
gorgeous dress that Emma and Wing bought her, letters will go into her coffin from Ali and myself.
Her memory will last forever ... not just from her family but by everyone\'s hearts that she
touched ... she touched so many!!
Nakita (her neighbour in PICU who passed two days after Faith) and Faith will be watchin down over
us from the stars sendin us their love. Don\'t spend too much time playin with the stardust!!
Kyle Alexander Mullen, her neighbour and friend that lived with her in 2b then PICU also passed late
December. Another little angel to play in the stars.
Emily Ellie Mae Trickett, a true friend's princess that has joined Faith. Have fun playing in
the stars lil girl ... sprinkle lots of stardust near your Mum Dad and sister as often as you can!!
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Faith\'s funeral took place on Monday 12th November 2007 at 3pm.
The song list (for you that have requested it) was
Damien Rice - Cannonball
U2 - With or without you
Athlete - Wires
Evanessence - My Immortal
The donations that were received at the funeral were given to the ECMO team in Yorkhill hospital in
Glasgow. £140.51 was handed over last week. Thank you all for the donations, hopefully
it\'ll help other people be so fortunate even if it is only to have a little bit of extra time
with their little one!
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On 6th January I was back up at Yorkhill to receive the post mortem results for Faith. Mr Davies
was very surprised with her.
There was no visible signs of brain damage, her lung was really clear and if she had survived she
would have had been strong. Her intestines were working, she had a scar on her heart, they had no
idea when she got it. All of these problems could have been workable, however they didn\'t
help her in the long run. The major playing part of her having to go was that her kidneys were very
immature and she had a dependancy on steroids. We\'ve no idea why her kidneys were immature,
however she was the only child in the whole of the UK to have been born with this. They\'re
doing research into this condition.
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26th March 2008
Faith's story has been featured in the Scottish Sun ... hopefully it'll raise awareness
for the CDH and the Hospitals excellent service that they offer at Yorkhill hospital in Glasgow!
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9th May we had a rave in The Venue in Dumfries, Bass Generator, DJ Ballistic, MC Loco and Trippy
John all came to perform for the memory of Faith and we're very proud to say that we raised
£710.95!! All proceeds raised are going to the ECMO Fund in Yorkhill Hospital.
Thanks for your support everyone!!
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This poem was sent to me by my cousin Tammy ... it pretty much sums up Faith\'s time here with
us.
On the 3rd day of September, 2007
God gave me Faith, on loan from Heaven
That day is one I’ll never forget
Her birth was something I’ll never regret
Before she arrived I knew she’d a fight
To make it through to see tomorrows light
But the doctors and nurses they acted fast
And Faith was still here when that day past
72 miles apart for the first few days
My heart was torn in so many ways
By her side is where I wanted to be
But my failing health kept her from me
4 days later I found myself by her side
Time so precious I’d have to bide
Before I could hold her in my arms
She’d away of moving us, she’d magic charms
And I had my faith, I had so much hope
People were wondering how I’d you cope
But all that mattered was the life of my child
My little Angel, so meak and mild
On the 54th day into her fight
She closed her eyes, said goodbye to the light
Her little spirit was begging for peace, for rest
The machines, the nurses were doing their best
And although we didn’t hear him call
The monitors showed her heart rate fall
Her little body couldn’t fight no more
And up in Heaven he opened the door
For 57 days her tired body battled on
Till they day came when her fight was gone
The alarms where silenced, the only sound
Was the lullabies playing all around
The early evening brought the mist
And in my arms, her head I kissed
There wasn’t a single star you could see
And I knew that she was leaving me
On 30th October 2007
The Angels took her to rest in Heaven
And with my Faith they took my heart
And whispered darling you can’t fall apart
I know they all wonder how does she cope
I’ve lost my Faith, my heart, my hope
But I’ve still 2 little boys who’re just as precious to me
And her spirit will never leave it will always be.
I dreamt that I visited Heaven
And found you there dressed all in white,
I wrapped you up in my arms so close
And held onto you so tight.
And when I woke up I felt better
Than I had done in such a long while
So thank you my Darling for hugging
And leaving me with this soft smile.
xxx
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Then your mummy in the dark
Thanks you for your tiny spark;
She could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Lots of love. x x x x
From wee baby faith
Dear Mommy,
Before we said our first hello,
the time had already passed.
For when you held me in your arms,
I had gone to heaven to rest.
I felt angelic tears down my cheeks,
and I watched you as you weeped.
I wish I could of changed it all,
Your tears touched my soul so deep.
But mommy when you are sad,
Please be assured I know.
For death cannot take away your love,
it will only continue to grow.
Time and distance cannot erase,
a love and a bond so deep.
There is no bond that can compare,
and in your heart I'll keep.
When you are feeling far away,
and missing me so much.
Close your eyes and feel my wings,
their soft and gentle touch.
Or at night as you sleep,
I will join you in a dream.
You will see me standing close to you,
and we'll be lost within my wings.
So my dear Mommy,
as you go from day to day.
Find comfort in the knowledge,
I am never that far away.
For wee baby Faith and her very strong mum love ya Manz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Your Goodnight Star
Last night at bedtime I looked out
To say goodnight to you,
And out the window through the clouds
A star came shining through
It sparkled and it twinkled
Like a precious diamond stone,
It looked as if it winked at me
And I felt less alone
On earth we can see starlight
Even if the star has gone,
And though you are not with me
Your light still does shine on
So though I cannot kiss your face
Or tuck you in all tight,
I’ll look to heaven, see a star
And whisper your goodnight.
xxx
Im so so sorry about Faith, she is so beautiful. I feel your pain and my heart is broken also.
My baby brayden became an angel because of CDH, he lived for 13 days. braydenjayhawkes.gonetoosoon.co.uk
Life is so unfair and cruel, i would do anything for our babies to be here.
Faith is always with you.
hugs
luv gem x x x
Sorry for your loss, I share your pain...
I just read about your little ones story on the Cherubs UK site...
I also lost my little one, Tia Lillie, just under a month ago. The doctors found she had a right sided CDH at 21 weeks gestation and her chances of surviving were slim as she also had a pleural effusion. But like you i gave my little girl all the chances i could, and gave her the choice to make the decision to go if she wanted to. Tia was only 20 hours when we lost her and she had been sedated seconds after birth so i never got to see her eyes or hear her cry or even see her move her little toes, nor did she get to look at her mummy. Not a day goes by when i dont think about Tia as i'm sure you do about your precious little one Faith. Up until now i've found it hard to talk to other people about Tia but i wanted to message you so you know you are not alone (as i had thought i was). If you ever want to chat pls feel free to email me.
I hope you are ok, i cant really say much more as i'm still stuggling to realise whats happened myself. My thoughts are with you and your little angel, who is now up there playing with the angels. She's looking down on you up there and would just want her mummy to keep smilling, i bet she's very proud of what your doing for her.
Lots of love,
Hannah - mummy to baby tia lillie
am sos orry for your loss my son Nathan died aged 27 hours from left sided cdh, it broke my heart. Nathan ahd a twin Jordan-lewis and his fien i was told both babies would die so jordan is my little miracle. I hope nathan is friends with ur beautiful angel am sure their havign fun in heaven always ehre if you ever want to talk lvoe hayley xx www.piczo.com/angelnathanlee www.myspace.com/haychxxx
I read you're story in the paper recently and didn't have a dry eye when I finished. Just like now as I read of the emotional journey you had with Faith . May God give you the strength and courage to get through each day .
Safe in the arms of Jesus.
Sleep peacefully little angel Faith .
Well!!
What a week you've had ... in the scottish sun ... selling your story to a magazine (will keep all you people updated as to when it's gonna be released) ... getting your charity rave organised!!
So far there is a healthy wad of cash going into your memorial fund for the ECMO team and it's just gonna grow and grow. Your story coming out has opened a lot of eyes to CDH and I'm so proud of you for letting me be the one to share your story. I really do nothing but smile when i'm getting the chance to talk about you and share your experiences to make people realise how important that hospital is!!
I'm gonna go try get some sleep cause it's like silly a.m.
I love you darlin with all my heart eternally
na'nites XxXxX
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